26 Days to Go: Wrapped Up

Hello everyone. As I told you all a few weeks ago I've managed to hop back on the crazy train of TBM, not that I ever get off of it, but there are moments where it isn't a bullet train traveling at the speed of life, taking away my breath & making it impossible to take in life's beautiful scenery. As of today, it's 26 days until I go back in for my 3rd tracheobronchoplasty (TBP)

, which I'm naming Trea; the first was named The Big Remodel, the second, The Big Redo. I've named all of these complex surgeries because they definitely take on a life of their own & completely take over my life. Whether it be by giving me back the very breath that keeps me alive or through the arduous 6-8 months recovery/healing process, it is an all-encompassing procedure that does change life for me in a multitude of ways.

So as we approach Trea, I am going to try to keep track of my thoughts & preparations to be able to share them with you in what I hope is a meaningful way that will perhaps provide you some unexpected little nuggets to help you make sense of your own 

crazy train of life. 

For obvious reasons, the last few months I've been putting more effort into to my relationship with God. It's no big secret that when life goes off track, we tend to seek Him more than when all is well; it's just human nature. When life is easy we rely more on ourselves than God's almighty GPS. Yet when life derails, it’s He is who we first call to for help (if you’re a believer that is!), to save us from the wreckage of whatever it is we find ourselves going the middle of. He's like a warm blanket whose unending love & mercies wrap us up in a warm, comforting embrace that calms our fears & let's us know we are going to be ok; life is going to be ok. 

Why the analogy of a blanket? Well, I got a new blanket to go with me for the surgery and recovery; a little treat to comfort me and keep me warm in the NJ cold. It’s ah-mazing! When it arrived yesterday in all its thick, super soft, and ultra cozy glory my mind automatically went to thinking how heavenly it is & that this must be what God's arms feel like when He's holding you, comforting you, loving you. Yeah, it's that good of a blanket! 

I got to thinking why is it that we wait so long to walk into the waiting embrace of God’s arms for all those little things we need comforting from, reassurances about? Why do we wait to let God do is His job? To be the Savior that He is? He wants that more than anything in the world, yet we too often resist. We do not feel worthy of such love. We do not believe that such love, mercy and grace exist in a world that can be so cold, harsh and hard on our hearts.  We do not want to bother Him with trivialities. We do not trust in our Lord to be the Savior that we so desperately need at all times in life, big or small. Instead, we relegate him to the train stop, leaving Him to wait on our crazy train to come to the depot so that He can come aboard, calling on Him only in times of great need, desperation, or suffering.

This is not what God wants. This is not what God needs from us. He needs all of us at all times in our lives. He wants to rejoice with us, celebrate with us, reward us with his love and mercies, weep with us. He wants to be our super soft, ultra cozy blanket that we use every day and not just for an all-encompassing surgery that will take over our life. He deserves our praise daily, for all the successes and as well as the defeats no matter how great or small. He deserves to be a part of it all. So instead of waiting until our train of life derails to turn into His waiting, loving arms, why don’t we turn to Him at all times? Think about it. Wouldn’t that kind of ultra soft coziness be such an amazing comfort to have every single day? Wouldn’t that just be lovely? Yes! It would – it is! He’s there waiting for us. All we have to do is believe and trust that He is. Bother Him! He’s there, waiting for us. His arms are wide open, full of undying love, mercy and grace. Wrap up in Him; you won’t regret it!

Psalm 18:32 (NIV)

It is God who clothes me with strength and keeps my way (me) secure.